Death of Donatello
by le error
Summary: IDW - A different take on what happened after issue #50 and Don's outcome. Mainly little dabbles.
1. Chapter 1

He couldn't remember a time where he woke without excruciating pain eating away at his mind.

Even in his dreams, he could feel sharp needles stabbing into his nerves and making white hot flames lick his insides. There was nothing but that sensation, that fire burning him until he woke screaming for help. It was difficult to tell if his eyes were even open or if he was truly awake. His brain tricked him. He was left in a constant state of utter panic that made his heart twist painfully and his lungs shrink. Nightmare after nightmare, voices and voices..

If his brothers hadn't come, it was those two..

 _"There ain't no foolin' the Foot!"_

 _"Yeah. And I thought you were suppose to be the smart one."_

He couldn't move, they sat on him..

 _".. I wanna help!"_

 _"Hurry, Rock, he's squirmy!"_

 _"Comin'!"_

 _NO!_

Laughter boomed into his eardrums just as the hammer crushed into his shell.

Donnie screamed.

"Donnie, it's okay," Mikey's voice came through his hell. Even then he was fearful of opening his eyes and still not finding his reality. Peace. Mikey hushed him. His voice came in sweet whispers to calm him and bring him back. There was a sadness in his breathe that brought his attention. Despite his entire frame begging for death, he couldn't possibly ignore his brother's voice. His body shook, a violent tremor as he woke and inhaled. Mikey gently pushed Don's shoulder down to keep him from moving. There was a small pause only filled with Donnie's heavy breathes and whimpers.

"Donnie."

"M..Mike-"

"I'm here."

That's all Don needed to fully surrender and open his eyes. He felt the soft mattress instead of blood stained concrete. A rush of relief filled him. It was enough to make Don let out a choked sob. The nightmares became more and more frequent. Blurring the line so dangerously that it terrorized the very thought of sleeping again. Donnie's fevered skin burnt under Mikey's fingers as he held him. He was getting worse. Mikey knew this despite the panicked lies his family would tell him whenever he asked. He wasn't a child. He understood. Donnie was the only truth that he was granted as he kept him close in his arms. Protecting him, whispering 'sorries' whenever his brother slept during another episode of nightmares.

Thankfully, the thrashing had stopped but Mikey didn't let go. Donnie had opened his eyes, staring down first at the drenched bed sheets from his sweat and dots of blood. He nestled his arm closer into his body, his hand loosely covered his face to hide the etched expression of pain. It only took a few minutes before Don fell asleep again, losing consciousness from the sheer amount of nerve endings blinding him with screams of agony that had not yet ceased. It never would. His shell was permanently damaged and sharp with broken edges like glass. Blood seemed like a never ending supply as it pooled out, soaking layers upon layers of bandages that Leo had helped put on. Nothing was enough. Sleep was the only relief.

Mikey understand but he wasn't ready to accept it.


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: Thank you for the positive feedback!_

Slowly they gave up. Little by little. Of course he wouldn't really claim that his family no longer cared for their dying brother. They still did but none of them put the effort to at least say goodbye. Mikey was the only one to stand at Don's door, bickering angrily between Leo and even his father about staying. The new burden of Splinter's choice to lead the Foot clan was his own, not Mikey's. None of that mattered. Mikey could understand how easily Leo and sometimes Raph attached themselves to their mission. Anything to get away, to forget. Leo would be immersed, trying to pull together the family but missing the point entirely. Raph could only ask Mikey how their brother was doing before running off secretly to unleash his anger and confusion on to the night.

They were falling apart.

If it hadn't been for Donnie, Mikey would have already left.

He regret calling Leo a few choice words before tossing his orange mask to his feet. How Don would ever be allowed to sleep peacefully without someone banging doors or screaming was beyond Mikey. There was no more hiding the dark circles under his tired red puffy eyes behind his mask anymore. He had aged many years after the feud with his brother and all he wanted to do was retire. There was nothing else that matter. Only Donnie and his recovery. He guessed he did have the Foot to thank for their equipment and supplies for Donnie's aid. It was equally matched by Harold's constant calls and message to Mikey and April of something he was working on for Donnie's shell. At least some people still cared enough and wanted Donnie to improve.

Maybe he was being too harsh..

Mikey bunched up the dirty bandages in his hands, tightly balling them, not caring to get any of his brother's blood in his hands. Why was everything such a mess and yet wasn't? They had won, there was no reason to fight and yet Mikey only replied with furious cries and shouts to his family. He tossed the bandages into the bin. He needed a shower.

"Hey."

Mikey jumped, emitting a small yelp and immediately stung with embarrassment for being caught off guard. He turned his head, staring back something other than the dark walls of Don's room made him squint. His eyes were glossy as he looked up find Raph standing by the doorway.

"Hey..."

"We collected the shipment last night when we were out on patrol. There's tons of morphine and .. uh medicine now." Raph said. "April said she would come by later and help. Ya know, sort it all."

"Okay, awesome."

"Okay."

Mikey waited for only a few seconds for anything else but nothing that brought his hope up. What he was expecting, he wasn't too sure himself. It had been nearing a week since he interacting with anyone besides Donnie or April. Angel stopped by more than a few times too and Harold only on video chat. Raph never came into this room. He awkwardly tip toed around like a child. Was he scared? Mikey couldn't even begin to know the process of how he would get that out of his brother. The only thing he could muster out from Raph rage filled emotions was blame. And everyone had it.

Mikey sighed softly, the strong smell of alcohol and blood was getting to him. He was exhausted and hungry to top it all off. Raph stood rooted to his spot, blocking the door purposely as he tried to muster out what he needed to say but Mikey wasn't feeling patient. The youngest took a noted step forward, Raph didn't move.

"I'm leaving tonight."

Mikey halted. "What?"

"I'm leaving.. I'm going out to find those bastards. Master Splinter can turn a blind eye and forgive but I can't, Mikey, I can't and I'mma find them." Raph said surely with a firm glare that made Mikey nervous and suddenly panicked. "I won't rest till I find them."

"You'll get yourself killed!"

"So what-"

Mikey took another step forward, his hands roughly shoved Raphael back with all his might. "So what!? So what?"

"Do you think this is any good? Being in the Foot? Being the very enemy we fight now attached to our name? Leo ain't liking it either but he don't have the balls to tell Splinter anything. And I rather be tied to the Empire State building by my tail than call him 'Chunin'!"

"So you're just gonna go on a suicide mission to get revenge on Bebop and Rocksteady? Raph, I can't believe your telling me all this when Donnie is dying right in front of us.,, I can't.." Mikey covered his face with his hands as tears quickly blinded him in a mix of confusion and fury. Raph was being serious, this was beyond stupid, nothing topped this. He lost his mind. "How can you be this selfish?" His fingers trailed down his eyes to his cheeks in frustration.

"You're okay with having those two out there? Alive?" Raph shouted.

He wasn't okay and it showed. The very thought of those two walking away after everything they did was sickening and beyond what Mikey could understand when Splinter ordered them to leave. Raph was right but revenge wasn't a priority. Donnie was. Donnie needed help.

"I don't think anyone is."

Leo had listened, watched quietly from the other end of the corridor with his arms crossed and his head lower. Raphael turned around, still baring his clenched fists and stern glare. Mikey was half expecting Leo to fight Raph, tell him he was stupid- Mikey was actually praying for that response or at least a knock in the head.

"That's why we prepare, then go together, Raph. Not as Foot- but as brothers."

For Donnie.


	3. Chapter 3

They all learned about anatomy when they were younger. Donnie gathered them in the living room, Splinter sitting ideally by with a soft smile and tea in hand while the others groaned. They learned bits and pieces of the human anatomy and the turtle anatomy. It wasn't like anything was set, it was either or but necessary. Crude humor would constantly interrupt Don and it was mainly from Raphael. Mikey was close to joining in with his brother until Raph earned himself a firm strike from Master Splinter's tail. But yes, they did learn everything. Everything. Even the important bone structure and what their shells were made of.

Mikey innocently believed cartoons and comics theory of a shell just being a home. Regular turtles were able to hide in them for protection and predators. They couldn't due to their size and their heads being too big to fit. They were able to when they were smaller, Splinter reminded them, but now they simply were protection.

And were awesome sleds during the winter.

He would never get use to the sight of seeing the inside of one. His eyes saw the bone, blood, tender raw flesh that bled at a touch and died. Leo couldn't stomach the sight anymore than the rest. Not when it was his brother. The one who taught him everything about their bodies little by little. The one who showed everyone how to correctly stitch wounds and mend a broken bone. Donnie sucked in all that information from books he found in sewers, taught himself how to read and processes all that knowledge. It was all for them and for their survival.

This was something he had no clue how to mend.

Donnie had been near comatose whenever Leo would clean his shell over and over. If April was there to help, they would get rid of the dead flesh that began to grow along the inner walls of the wound. April had a stronger stomach. After a few minutes, Leo's hand would shake and he would excuse himself. It wasn't fair. He failed to protect his little brother, he abandoned him, and now he couldn't save him. The chances of him pulling through were slim and even if he could Donnie just wouldn't be the same.

Leo spent the rest of the afternoon alone in Donnie's room. After finishing up the new bandages and giving Donnie two more strong sedatives, Leo sat beside him in silence. His hand rested on top of Donnie's and gently rubbed his thumb along Don's wrist. He wasn't asleep. Leo picked up the heavy breathes and soft groans from his brother. After seventeen years, Leo knew Donnie would whistle in his sleep and occasionally talk. How he wished to hear something familiar from his brother. Something that would give him a sense of hope that he so desperately wanted to cling and hold on to.

"Please.. tell me how to fix this.."


	4. Chapter 4

The sound was just as worse as the smell from sanding the jagged edges of Don's shell. They were slowly chipping away at him, breaking apart sensitive bits of Don's carapace and reaching inside him. It kind of resembled one of those plush animals that you could unzip its back and put your whole hand inside the mesh pocket. He wasn't sure why he instantly conjure that image but it made Raph nearly vomit. His eyes quickly found something else to focus on anything but what was happening. He groaned softly as a sudden pain in his own back surfaced. The reality was that everything that was there in Donnie was also in him. He wasn't sure if that made the phantom pain worse but Raph hated the sensitivity and hyper awareness of his own flesh and bone. He couldn't imagine the pain on the scale of what Donnie had to endure while he was awake. The intense emptiness, that very wrong feeling of being exposed and vulnerable. It infuriated him.

Their search had died after the discussion of repairing Donnie's shell now became the main focus. Raph wasn't happy about putting on the shelf but he knew how important it was to be by his brother's side. Donnie was, thankfully, knocked out during the whole surgery. The Foot had plenty of equipment and medics to assist in the operation. Leo only trusted a few and April to help. Harold had constructed the perfect mold of the epoxy glass to fit over the gaping hole in his brother. Now they had to get it to fit and stay. Raph had no idea what that process would entail. Glue? Staples? Their shells were tough but from the infection and side effect of damage, Donnie's shell had become even more frail. They had to be extra careful.

Leo sat with his hands tightly folded as if he was silently praying. His eyes were open, watching the operation from a far and paying close attention to what they were doing. It was only him and Raph. Leo wouldn't let Mikey watch and for a good reason. A lot of this was hard to stomach.

By the time they finished, Donnie looked worse than he had before.

The fiberglass fit perfectly over the damage. It was secured by drilling in several painfully thick screws along with thick metal plates temporarily holding everything together. They had to tighten it and everything else was lost in Raph's mind and out the ear. The only thing he cared about now was pumping a ridiculous but safe amount of morphine into Donnie's body.

"He's going to be ok," Leo said. His voice was weak, tired but the long hours of keeping himself awake and on his feet. There were bags under his eyes and crooked smile. His hand nestled into Raph's as they stood by Donnie's bedside. "He's going to pull through."

Everything looked so wrong. It didn't even look like their brother was still alive with all the bandages and weird metal sticking out of him. They were trying everything to put him back together, to make him whole again, Raph didn't want him to fall apart. Words were lost at the back of his throat. His mouth felt warm as he struggle to keep a sudden tug of agony in his chest.

Raph squeezed Leo's hand and bit his lower lip. Tears quietly fell from his eyes and Leo stayed quiet.


End file.
